Parents behaving badly

In some families parents behave badly.
Some parents are violent and hurt each other. Children might also be hit, or feel scared because an adult or another child may be hurt.

This sort of behaviour is called domestic violence.

Domestic violence is about one person wanting to hurt or control another person or child.

It is not just about being hit. There are lots of ways in which one person can try and control the family. It could be by always putting you down, bullying, not letting you have friends, or doing other bad things that make you feel afraid.

If this is what happens in your family always remember it is not your fault. It is not OK. You must try to tell someone you trust.

Even when bad things happen that you feel helpless to change, talk to an adult you trust. It is your parents’ responsibility to keep you safe.

NCH helps children who are affected by their parents’ violent behavior. Children tell us that they want:

• scary things to stop happening (always remember: you can’t stop the bad things on your own)
• to feel safe and loved
• Mum and Dad to talk things through and not be violent

Children also say:

• they are sacred of being hurt or punished and want to be taken care of
• they are scared to talk in case what they say makes more bad things happen or they are not believed
• they are scared that the parent who takes care of them will be hurt again or will not be able to take care of them
• they don’t want to be forced to see the person who causes their fear, and want to have their wishes respected
• they want help to understand their feelings about the person who has hurt them

Remember, it’s not OK to be violent.

Remember, it’s not your fault.

If you are worried about any of these things you can get help by telling an adult you trust such as a relative, friend or teacher. Ask them to help you.

If you feel there is danger right now call 999.

For more helplines and websites where people can help you, click here.